I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
