Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
