4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
