he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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