your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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