Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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