How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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