I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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