Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
