he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
