Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
