Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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