3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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