Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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