PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
