Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
