This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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