What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
