you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
