Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
