would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
