i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize