i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
