you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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