Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
