You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Randomize
