Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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