she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
