Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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