he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
