Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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