I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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