Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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