There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
