C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
