Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
