You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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