hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
