All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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