You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
there is glitter all over my balls
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
