carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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