my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
