my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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