dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I would ride that face into the sunset
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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