THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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