I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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