i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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