i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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