do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The power of my boobs compel you
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
