he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
