He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I could fuck to npr.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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