No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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