Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
All the doctor said was why
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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