The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
