Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
this is an emotional support booty call
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
