It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
