Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Randomize
