Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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