The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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