16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
