If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
