farters have to be the big spoon...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
