He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
