Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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