oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
my poor anus
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
