shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
