Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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