is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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