Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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