Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
