its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
