Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
